I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
