with your own penis?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize