I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
