strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize