lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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