Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
