just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize