What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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