so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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