It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
