Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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