Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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