she woke up with a sticky ear
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
