Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
