i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
