We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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