I wish you could order shots online.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
