I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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