I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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