We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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