and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
