she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How's work?
Spinning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
