just tell him i said nine months
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
