i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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