i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
