He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.