so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween