im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.