remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.