I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
