I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Text me some of your sweat
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