We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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