I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
