Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
