My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
