I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
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I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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