I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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