I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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