My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
