You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
