Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
