what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
