I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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