i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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