I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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