after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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