My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize