so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
