i dont even know how to be here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
