why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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