Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
