Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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