my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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