More tranny stories later!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
