perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
