I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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