party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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