Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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