why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
