yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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